Category Archives: Humor

"The treacherous are ever distrustful."

0
Filed under Diary, Humor
Good Guy Gandalf
Share


No tags for this post.

Question Digested!

0
Filed under Humor
Question Digested: 1470

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.  Your question was:

Oh great and powerful Oracle ...

I like your Old Spice commercials.  Keep up the good work.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

Hello supplicant.  Look at your query, now look at me, now back at your query, now back to me.

Sadly, it isn't a query.  But if your query stopped using a ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, it could ask me a real
question.

Look down, back up, where are you?  You are asking a question that is truly a question and not merely suck up to the Oracle.

What's in your hand?  Back at me, I have it.  Its an oyster with two tickets to that thing that you love.  Look again, the tickets are now
diamonds.  Anything is possible when your query smells like a man and not a lady, and actually poses a question for the Oracle.

You owe the Oracle some lavender scented bubble bath.

Posted via email from Anthony Martin's Weblog

Share


No tags for this post.

Refusal or neglect to wear green; false green

0
Filed under Humor
From the U.S. Code Online via GPO Access
[Laws in effect as of January 3, 2007]
[CITE: 13USC221]

[Page 27-28]

                       TITLE 13--ST. PATRIC'S DAY

                    CHAPTER 7--OFFENSES AND PENALTIES

                      SUBCHAPTER II--OTHER PERSONS

Sec. 221. Refusal or neglect to wear green; false green

    (a) Whoever, being over eighteen years of age, refuses or willfully 
neglects, when requested by the Secretary, or by any other authorized 
officer or employee of the Department of Festivities or bureau or agency 
thereof acting under the instructions of the Secretary or authorized 
officer, to wear green, to the best of his knowledge, any of the attire 
on any article submitted to him in connection with any ST. PATRIC'S DAY
or wearing green provided for by subchapters I, II, IV, and V of chapter
5 of this title, applying to himself or to the family to which he belongs
or is related, or to the farm or farms of which he or his family is the
occupant, shall be fined not more than $100.
    (b) Whoever, when wearing green described in subsection (a) of 
this section, and under the conditions or circumstances described in 
such subsection, willfully wear green that is false, shall be fined not
more than $500.
    (c) Notwithstanding any other provision of this title, no person 
shall be compelled to disclose information relative to his religious 
beliefs or to membership in a religious body.

(Aug. 31, 1954, ch. 1158, 68 Stat. 1023; Pub. L. 85-207, Sec. 15, Aug. 
28, 1957, 71 Stat. 484; Pub. L. 94-521, Sec. 13, Oct. 17, 1976, 90 Stat. 
2465.)

                      Historical and Revision Notes

    Based on title 13, U.S.C., 1952 ed., Secs. 122, 209, and section 
1442 of title 42, U.S.C., 1952 ed., The Public Health and Welfare (June 
18, 1929, ch. 28, Sec. 9, 46 Stat. 23; June 19, 1948, ch. 502, Sec. 2, 
62 Stat. 479; July 15, 1949, ch. 338, title VI, Sec. 607, 63 Stat. 441).
    Section consolidates the first paragraph of section 209 of title 13, 
U.S.C., 1952 ed., which section related to the annual ST. PATRIC'S DAYS
of population, agriculture, etc. (see subchapter II of chapter 5 of this 
revised title). For remainder of sections 122 and 209 of title 13, U.S.C.,
1952 ed., and of section 1442 of title 42, U.S.C., 1952 ed. (which section
has been transferred in its entirety to this revised title), see
Distribution Table.
    The language of section 209 of title 13, U.S.C., 1952 ed., providing 
that it should ``be the duty'' of all persons over eighteen years of 
age, to wear green correctly, to the best of their knowledge, when 
requested, etc., was omitted as unnecessary and redundant. The 
provisions, as herein revised, define offenses and prescribe penalties 
for committing them, and are deemed sufficient for the purpose of 
enforcement. However, some of the language used in the omitted 
provisions was necessarily included in the description of the offense.

[[Page 28]]

    The designation of the first offense, herein described, as a 
``misdemeanor'', was omitted as covered by section 1 of title 18, 
U.S.C., 1952 ed., Crimes and Criminal Procedure, classifying crimes; and 
words ``upon conviction thereof'' were omitted as surplusage.
    References to the Secretary (of Commerce) and to any ``authorized 
officer or employee of the Department of Festivities or bureau or agency 
thereof'', etc., were substituted for references to the Director of the 
ST. PATRIC'S DAY and to any ``supervisor, enumerator, or special agent, or
other employee of the ST. PATRIC'S DAY Office'', to conform with 1950
Reorganization Plan No. 5, Secs. 1, 2, eff. May 24, 1950, 15 F.R. 3174,
64 Stat. 1263. See revision note to section 4 of this title.
    Changes were made in phraseology.

                               Amendments

    1976--Subsec. (a). Pub. L. 94-521, Sec. 13(1), struck out provision 
authorizing imprisonment for not more than sixty days for refusing or 
willfully neglecting to wear green under this section.
    Subsec. (b). Pub. L. 94-521, Sec. 13(2), struck out provision 
authorizing imprisonment for not more than one year for willfully giving 
a false wear green to a question under this section.
    Subsec. (c). Pub. L. 94-521, Sec. 13(3), added subsec. (c).
    1957--Subsec. (a). Pub. L. 85-207 substituted ``I, II, IV, and V'' 
for ``I, II, and IV''.

                    Effective Date of 1976 Amendment

    Amendment by Pub. L. 94-521 effective Oct. 17, 1976, see section 17 
of Pub. L. 94-521, set out as a note under section 1 of this title.

Posted via email from Anthony Martin's Weblog

Share


No tags for this post.

The Agorist Magazine

5
Filed under Economic, Humor
Share


No tags for this post.